Went into the local big-box Chapters store today and wandered over to the fiction racks, and there was Hooker & Brown right between Margaret Atwood and Jane Austin.
Pride.
Archive for the ‘The View from Inside...’ Category
Small, but very real, Thrills
Wednesday, December 16th, 2009Suspension of Hope
Friday, November 13th, 2009Packing now for the Boardman Tasker ceremony in Kendal, U.K.
Things are so much better now that I have been doing readings and signings and gone through the expectations and intensity of the Banff Book Festival. No nervousness, no expectations. I think now that as you get closer to an award, that you need to stop hoping and building it up. It’s like the cards are played, the bets made, and all that’s left is to lay them down. Nothing really that you can do, that time is past. Any hoping at that point is just going to drive you crazy. I don’t have any kind of special powers to affect an outcome up until the moment it is revealed, and think the old physics mind-game of Schroedinger’s cat is stupid.
Instead, I can now look at both sides of the results: and realize that both directions have pluses and minuses. If you win, there is fanfare, and glory, and book sales, and recognition, respect. But also intense expectations and intrusion. If you don’t win, you’re still on the short-list, and the next story doesn’t face impossible pressure to live up the first, since it can hardly top it. Either way, the results can help and hinder, so really, isn’t it irrelevant?
As long as I can write the next story, and do it well, that’s all the matters.
Here’s a few other thoughts after getting through the first month and a half after launching the book:
- If there is a signing table, sit at it as long as you can. That is were books are sold, where you as the author can add value to the book (with a signature) and to the process (by pitching the story). Sit until someone physically pulls you away.
- Have another project to work upon. The downtime between sending the book to the printer and actually getting feedback from readers is measured in months, if not a half-year. The separation from your baby can cause post-partum-like symptoms. Best get yourself busy on those short stories you put off for so long, or that painting you wanted to do.
- But before a reading, reread your work.Get reacquainted with it. It is funny how fast we can move on when we decide to do so. Learn to fall in love with the book as a reader now, no longer as the writer.
- Finally, brush it off when someone says they liked it and are passing it to a friend (as opposed to telling the friend to buy a copy). Sure, book sales are way down. But this is the way we all came across good stories, our favorite stories. And then, if it was good, we went and got our own copy. People want the stuff they like on their shelves. And in this way the story is being read and recommended and read again. That’s the goal.
Brash Words
Friday, October 30th, 2009I’ve had some time to come down and digest, and I keep thinking of the words of an old friend and climbing partner of mine.
Andrew Brash is he, the guy that was lionized, reluctantly, three years ago, for curtailing his own Everest summit, in order to help down another climber who had collapsed, spent the night at an ungodly altitude, and survived. He had been abandoned by his team, but Andrew and his team, though close to the summit, gave up theirs to help the guy down.
Andrew is not a media type, and shunned the spotlight. But a few days ago he found me via my site and reconnected. It seemed like the sun was shinning down through a small window in the clouds and illuminating a past in which I climbed a lot and was fearless and an five day expedition was normal. (Now it seems to be a rarity, what with family commitments and friends all busy…).
But what he said was:
I wanted to pass along a major congratulations on your novel and the Boardman Tasker nom - way to effing go man!
Best of luck, but remember the nomination in itself is MASSIVE.
That’s right, MASSIVE. Don’t forget that.
You may have struck out at Banff, but you are still recognized by the most prestigious jury in the mountain world.
Thanks, Andrew.
See ya in Banff.
The Wall
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009Look, it’s really straightforward.
Tomorrow is the announcement of the award winners for the Banff Mountain Book Festival, a week before the actual ceremony. I didn’t think it would be like this. I thought I would have to sit and squirm in the theatre until they announced. At least I won’t be going through the panels and readings that day all tense and nervous and jumpy on no sleep. This way whoever the winners are, they will have time to digest it and prepare.
And it goes one of two ways: I win or I don’t. I can’t affect anything now or from here. Just wait and see.
If I win it is huge and I can celebrate and prepare a short acceptance speech and think about how that can change the exciting future of the book.
If not, it has been a great run. I wrote the best book I could, even the book I wanted, and I am super happy and proud with it. It is no small feat to get to be a finalist and get a chance – evidence is just to look at the list of entrants who did not make the cut. Enjoy the ride, it’s not over, and appreciate the gasps of rarefied air that you did have.
But I underestimated how badly I want that award. It is not rational, and I am tense and jumpy and really curious and anxious. The suspense! Tomorrow, at this time, all will be revealed. Until then it is like The Wall by the existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre.
In Theory, Not Practice
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009I’ve now seen the full circle of this book: from conception, to re-imagining, to editing, publication, and now launching and reviews. One of many things that has surprised me on this journey: keeping this blog up eats away at my morning writing time. But a week can easily pass without an entry so this morning it is priority. Then I can work on the short story I am preparing to read as the start of my presentation at the Festival of Eagles. I have reduced my day-job commitments dramatically in order to focus the next few months on the book as I found I was starting to drop balls all over the place. Time to give the book its due - after fourteen years of work, it is only right that I devote a few months to promote and enjoy this time.
I started this blog to try and capture the rough and tumble of this experience, not just as an honest guide to emerging writers, but also for myself - to remember what it was like. I am really happy I have this now, because, as usual, the reality is proving far more vivid than imagination.
It has been almost a week since my book launch and I am finding my internal reaction and thoughts to be curious. I really did imagine that so many components of this book writing and publishing endeavor would be easy after the effort of the actual writing…but the truth is that so much of it is really intensive work. The launch itself was not really that much to organize, but because it was so personal and I wanted it perfect, it felt like an enormous thing that blocked out the sun.
In fact, almost everything has been more difficult and more of an emotional roller-coaster than I ever thought. I struggled to settle on a scene to read (though that exercise will help down the road as I now have a short-list of scenes for different occasions). I find the blog takes up crucial writing time and consideration. I found the intensity of the launch made me look at my writing very differently - as if I understand finally the complete course that the story must take - and I think I will write with a greater understanding of how the story will be read. That is satisfying.
There have been great moments: attending a wedding this weekend with some old friends, my wife suggested I bring some books in case one of them wanted one. I ended up selling all nine. People seemed really interested in the story and my explanation, and I was so energized explaining to them that I can see another side to the writing - that of the idea as inspiration (some would call it a sales pitch, but I just like telling the story).
But I have also found that I hardly slept in the days before the launch - so nervous was I. And I also get addicted to news and reviews - after the launch and the news of the Boardman Tasker shortlist - I find myself wondering about other interviews and promotional opportunities. Almost as if I expect that level of intense feedback all the time. In this respect I can see, even as a very private person (despite this blog), how politician and celebrities can get so hooked on the limelight. I suppose that it is human nature: when things are good we want them better, when they are bad, we imagine they could be worse.
I didn’t win the Alberta Views short story contest and surprised myself at being disappointed (why should I be, I submitted a strong story, but I think it was the craving for feedback). I start to wonder what my publisher has been doing, as I’ve not heard much lately. Then I have to remind myself that the book has been officially launched only six days ago.
So much work, and so easy to get caught up in it. I do need to prepare some advertising for the end of November, and organize for the festival season, but I think some hiking and camping time may be in order - just to get away and let the expectations settle down to a reasonable level. Some perspective.
Launch Business
Friday, September 18th, 2009I’ve been too busy and preoccupied with my upcoming launch to blog or feel I have anything to say.
I think everything is done, but I have been waking up in the middle of the night as from a dream and panicking that I am late or have forgotten something. Then I think it through and realize, okay, I have a few emails to dash off but nothing more. I relax and go to sleep and then I’m up in 20 minutes with the same feeling.
I realize I am a writer, and as much as the solitary plod of a novel can be wearing, I also know I am not a public personality and I don’t seek it out. It looks like, deep down, that just terrifies me. And yet, when I do talk in public, the moment after I start, I actually enjoy it.
I wonder at the deep dichotomy of this in my character, and wish I could accept the upcoming reading as being something easily done and fun. I say that to myself, and I actually believe it, but something deep down doesn’t want to.
And I have now agreed to speak at the Festival of Eagles on October 17th. Maybe with practice I will remember to enjoy this again (I used to teach and liked that), but right now I would just ask that the nervousness wait until the day of, not the month before!
At Last, Alas, Feedback
Monday, September 7th, 2009Been waiting so long to hear what people think of the book, but now that quite a few copies are out there and being sold it is starting to trickle in. Most of it is good, there are a few comments that people would prefer one thing or another, but it has always been counter-balanced with the opposite opinion from someone else. So I figure it is just preference.
I think all criticism should be considered, but that it’s up to me to accept it. I do get moments where I think of a scene and am paralyzed with the thought of it out there. Maybe I’m remembering an earlier draft because when I go to read the scene I think it is perfect. Strange games the mind plays.
But then this morning, my wife, who is French, told me that some of the terms I used were not quite right. Why tell me now! She was away when I did my final edits (I needed huge space to do them) and I never got her to review before I had to send it in.
Pas grave. It isn’t important. I’m starting the list of edits for the second printing already. Thank God their all really minor.
ARC of Wonder
Thursday, July 30th, 2009Just packing for a three week trip to the Yukon - long days with space to write and wander. Looking forward to a trip I’ve wanted to do for my whole life.
And then in the mail comes an express-post copy of the book. The real deal. An Advanced Reader Copy (ARC). Same cover, no quotes yet on the back (that’s what the ARC will generate). There’s only about ten of these in existence. My publisher tells me that the books will arrive next week in their warehouse but I will be away so they sent me the ARC.
I can’t even tell you what it feels like to hold it in my hand. The book. The novel. The end result of so many years and so much work. Holding this collection of 70,000 words, bound and presented…so real, so tangible….
Words fail.
Writing Process cut off at the Blog
Tuesday, July 21st, 2009Now here’s an interesting dilemma: I never have kept a diary, preferring instead to scratch out story parts and then glue them together at a much later date (usually years). But now I’m bloggin’.
And I like it. I like being able to think out some concepts that would never make it into a story, or just document the process of publishing a novel, if not for others, then certainly for myself to look back on when I have forgotten how hard it was at times.
But here’s the thing: it cuts into my relatively small amounts of writing time. That is a problem, because now the non-fiction side (blogging) is competing with my fiction side for scarce resources. Not only that, but blogging is lazy. I just type out my thoughts after forming them rather loosely. I never do that with fiction.
The short story writing process has certainly evolved over the last few years for me. I still start with a fragment: a concept, or a theme, or a sentence, or even a photograph of a scene (never a character or a moral or a puzzle). But then it flows through one of many channels:
- Think it out by telling it like a fireside story.
- Write it down freehand until I get stuck.
- Sketch out a pattern of how the story works.
- Tell stories of the characters until I know them so well I know how they will act.
These all work great especially the last one, and i usually use a combo of these. But then I get down to business and scratch out a first draft. Then I wind through all of the following one or more times:
- Read to friends.
- Read out loud.
- Redraft after some reflection.
- Let it sit for a month in a drawer.
- Hire an editor to give me real feedback.
- Rewrite it from a different tense / voice / POV.
- Rewrite with different characters / setting.
I don’t think anything has come off my desk without at least ten full rewrites. And I enjoy that process. Only then am I satisfied with it. Only then is it done and meaningful and ready to be read by an unknown reader. If it ain’t a good story, it won’t make it. In fact, it usually dies quite early on in the process. But always there are edits and rereads and rewrites and reflections.
My point is: that blogging is none of this. It is raw and unedited and fresh, but also unedited and fresh and raw. It doesn’t have the depth of character and conflict so that we care about it. It is, in essence, non-fiction. Just a reflection.
Writing Acknowledgements
Tuesday, July 7th, 2009Something you think about all through the process. I had made notes on people who helped me out and moments that were pivotal that I wanted to thank for making the book possible, but could I find them all in the myriad folders and drafts (online and off)? When the time came, it was almost an after thought as the book was going to press and I scrambled to pull it together.
How do you remember everything important when the book took sop long and went through so many stages and phases?
Then on Saturday I was over at my great friend’s house, Dustin Lynx, who wrote the guidebook for Canada’s Great Divide Trail, and who has shared so many adventures with me: climbing, hiking, biking, running, long-range multi-day trips, pack-rafting, and all the stories and drinks and laughs that go with it. And I realize I forgot to mention him. He was so influential on the book at so many times.
It is almost if I was looking out and couldn’t see to thank what was right in front of me. So, thanks, Dustin.
God! Who else did I forget?